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Black and married or single, listen up. What if we could get all the good single brothas and single sistas we know together in a central place, think of the possibilities to uplift our whole community! Isn’t it the role of each of us in the Diaspora to help create the kinds of unions and families our community needs? If you haven’t seen it yet, please tell everyone you know, married or single, about this event that exists to help us make our community better.

Okay, now the rest of this is just for my single folks.

Let me know if you can relate. You’ve been on the journey to reclaim and reclaim your Black history and culture, and while this has opened a whole new world one on hand, you notice one thing has not changed for the better: the limited options for a quality mate. So maybe you refocus for a while, but now and then…that desire for meaningful companionship creeps back up.

There are many terms for this state of elevated consciousness: woke, conscious, African-centered, liberated, etc. I’ve felt the loneliness that sometimes being Black and conscious can bring. Finding those of like-minds is sometimes harder than it seems. We are under constant attack, and we need a love that nurtures us to do the best work for our people. Any effective revolutionary-minded individual must have an unwavering love for the people. And that love begins in the home. How can you have Black empowerment without Black unions, marriages, and families?

At some point in this journey, we realize that we cannot share our beds with someone that does not share our beliefs.

You want a partner but, where do you find this revolutionary complement of like-mind and parallel-path?

This longing is why I almost jumped through my computer when I saw the flyer for a new event gathering singles from around the East Coast for a Revolutionary Black Singles and coupling event on April 13th in Raleigh, North Carolina sponsored by a group of people from around the country who call themselves Find Black Love.

But then the skeptic in me kicked in. I thought ‘is this another superficial match-making event?’ Should I just stay at home, swipe left, swipe right, (joking) or try my romantic luck at the grocery store?

Is this what you are thinking too? Maybe, our next date is in the produce aisle. But, is it likely that they share our values and beliefs? Are they committed to bettering the community?

We could waste weeks, even months, of our lives courting to find out. Or maybe we can increase our chances by trying something different for one day.

It’s natural, we are changing, and our standards are different. And at this point in the path, we deserve someone of complementarity, not convenience.

So I did my research and fact-checking and here are the top 6 things I learned before I registered.

1. Gender Balanced. According to the website, the event was created by married elders, a psychologist, relationship experts, and many others. One of my favorite parts is that the organizers made this event gender balanced. I can’t tell you how many singles events will have a room full of women and only two guys. Plus, the day is not just a conference—it’s a conference, dinner, gala, and after party.

2. It’s not just the blind leading the blind. Have you ever seen a Black couple that has been together for years and wondered—how do they do it? This conference is all about the marrying age folks but features Black elder couples that exemplify Black love in our community. They can answer that question and share their wisdom about Black unions at the event.

3. Not just thrown together. Let’s keep it real – some dating events can feel rushed, thrown together, and unauthentic. You barely know more than a name before you’re speeding off to the next person. How can you see if you’re compatible with someone if you don’t get a chance to explore their character? Yes, you could just talk, but I’m glad that this event will also have relationship-building activities where you can get to know someone in a social setting! Whether dating or in a relationship, I think we can learn so much more about a person’s character through observation and working together.

4. Expanding the search area. It seems like I see the same people over and over locally. The right brotha for me could be 2 hours away and I just don’t know it. Maybe he’s a few states away. Geography doesn’t have to stand in our way. I love that this event is gathering singles from all over the East Coast so we can make fresh connections.

5. We get to eat dinner together. Eating dinner alone is one of the worst parts of being single. At the East Coast Revolutionary Black Singles love event, I’m looking forward to the chef-catered meal where we can share our child upbringing and the “how we came to Black consciousness” stories. I’m relieved that we don’t have to wait until the 2nd or 3rd date to share ideas on Black politics and the pioneering works of Diop, Wesling, Ben-Jochannan, and other vanguards. Also, as a vegan, I’m so used to public events not considering my lifestyle that I either eat before attendance or bring my own food, but the dinner will have vegan and vegetarian options available!

6. An all-African attire gala cause single people want to dress up and have fun, too. Now, after the conference and the dinner, there is a Black Love Gala. I love going to fancy events, but sometimes I stay away when I know I have to walk in alone. I am so excited to dress up for this all-African attire Gala. This is where I can give eye contact across the room, start playful dance battles, and strut my gele and patterned skirt in the African Fashion Contest. Maybe, I’ll just stand side-by-side with my potential compliment swaying to vibration of live performers while we guess about who the surprise celebrity guest will be. I will probably feel deep high school nostalgia if I happen to get crowned the African Queen of the Gala (along with the African King). And then, he’ll kiss my hand as the DJ spins Afrobeat….

Alright, let me imagine ok? Visualization is a manifestation technique.

You should start dreaming too — your complement can be a reality.

I read one of the organizers say, “to build a strong Black community, we need strong Black families. At the foundation, we need strong Black unions.” For many of us on the journey to elevate our consciousness, the question has been when and where to meet a like-minded mate and thankfully, a day has come for us studious and revolutionary romantics.

In the Black community, we need partnerships that can heal and buildLove that replenishes after a long day in a racist society; a mate where we can discuss, imagine and plan solutions for our people; a mate that can elevate our mind with African-centered dialogue; a mate that supports our career and projects. A mate that holds us accountable and holds us. Inspiring conversations over dinner and warm back massages after work…

Sounds good, right?

Okay, so I have multiple favorite things about how they organized this event. Another favorite is that the Find Black Love event is community-based and will be held at Black-owned venues, a Black-owned hotel, with Black-owned businesses providing all the services to support our new unions of Black love.

We all want love, it’s a human desire. Love is more than a feeling; it is a passionate responsibility based on friendship and a collective mission. Our Black love should benefit the people.

It’s about finding the Amy Garvey to your Marcus Garvey. The Stokely Carmichael to your Miriam Makeba. Yes, finding a legacy partner.

I am ready to Find Black Love. Are you?

If so, I’ll see you in April in Raleigh, North Carolina. Payday is Friday, so I’m getting my discount ticket before the sale prices end.

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